"If I'm not that arrow to the heart of you..."

God another weekend gone. This one slightly better than the rest...it was significantly better until about 4:30am but whatever.

Friday night I went to the Dubliner with Tonia, Johnny, Kerrie and Amy and then we all went back to Tonia's house to continue our drinking fun. I had a damn good night. I was a little upset though because I was texting Mike and his responses were very short and few and far between.

Saturday afternoon I went to Mike's after work and through very little prodding found out he was with Leeann the majority of the evening. I can't say it didn't hurt to hear that but I have no right to be upset because I fooled around with John. An eye for an eye, right? All they did, according to Mike, is kiss. And he wouldn't lie to me, he never has. It did sting though...with Heather, I've never met her so thinking about Mike kissing her is no big deal for me, but because I know Leeann and I was friends with her, thinking about the two of them together is painful, even if all they did was just kiss. Thinking about it makes me mildly nauseous.

Saturday night I went the Storm Game with Kristyn, Bryce, Amanda, Ben and Scott. I was supposed to sleep over Amanda's house and ended up going to Kristyn and Bryce's house. I don't know why, but I feel much more comfortable doing nothing with Kristyn and Bryce than I am with Amanda and Ben. I just honest to goodness can't stand Ben. He's a nice guy but he just irritates the hell out of me.

Sunday I went to the gym and went over to Mike's to help him with some paperwork and just hang out. Well we hadn't set a time limit on us hanging out and we were laying in bed just talking and his phone went off and I made a joke about "Oh, it's your blonde haired basketball stomached whore." and I legitimately was just joking, turns out it was Leeann. And I immediately tensed up because I have amazing foresight and I knew what was coming next. I asked him jokingly "Oh so I guess I have to go now." and he laughed until he got another text and I could see it in his face. I was so mad I was practically shaking and I went to storm out of the room. He grabbed my arm and goes "Sit down, what's wrong" and I told him "Nothing...sometimes I just forget where your loyalty lies." and he said "And where is that?" and I said "With anyone who's not me." and he just sat quiet for a minute and said "How so?" then I told him "Your a grown ass man, we're not together, do whatever you want. But I drove 30 minutes over here, not 5 minutes, so it's kind of shitty I have to leave so that you can go hang out and suck face with Leeann"

He didn't really say anything and just gave me a hug and thanked me and I left. Not five minutes after I left he called me and said "You're right. What I just did was wrong and I'm normally more noble than that." and I just said "It's okay." and he said "No, it's not. You and I had plans to hang out for awhile. We did accomplish what we set out do accomplish but I shouldn't pick one of you over the other or drop you for her or vice versa. I have a lot to think about and we can talk more about it tomorrow." and that was that. Then he called me as I'm walking in my front door about how he'd just heard a Garth Brooks song and he thought of me and have a good night and he'd call me later. Well imagine my surprise, or lack there of, when I went to sleep around 11pm and still hadn't heard from him.

I woke up this morning at 4am to go to the gym and I was still pissed because no call, no nothing. I got in the car and decided instead of going to the gym 5 minutes from my house, I'd go to the one in Largo, closer to work and coincidentally the one I have to drive right by Leeann's house to get to. Well I didn't even make it all the way over the bridge when I got a text from GUESS WHO? Mike. All it said was "Drunk and sad." and I called him and said "I'm on the bridge, you want me to come over?"  and he sounded excited and said "Hell yeah, come on."

So I walk in to "The Truth" by Jason Aldean and a slideshow of Madison and I knew instantly shit was bad. He had his sword and his bourbon and coke. He was a mess. Legitimately a mess. I tried once around 5:25 or so to get him into bed after he dozed off in the chair. He woke up when I was trying to get him up and pushed me off of him. He saw how pissed I was and leveled with me and told me to sit down and calm down, he was very calm with me and very quiet. He asked me what was wrong and I said "I'd rather just get you into bed before you drink yourself to death." I saw him pushing the sword into his leg to the point where it hurt so bad he was hissing and I couldn't take it anymore, I started to cry. And I kept crying. He pulled me to him and was trying to comfort me. When I wouldn't look at him and launched forward and kissed me and then kissed my cheeks and my head  and just tried to soothe me but it was in vain. We finally got into the bed about 6:30a. I dozed for a bit before I had to work, made sure he was still breathing and I left.

I'm going to call him at noon to make sure he's up for the gym with Nick and I'm spending the night there tonight after softball so that we can go and get his security stuff accomplished early tomorrow morning. I don't know what he's going to say or remember when I call him at noon, I don't care to know. I just know I hate seeing him like this and I told him that. I told him this morning he was weak because it wasn't him...it was Madison. I hate her for what she's done to him. She cheated on him, toyed with his emotions and when David tried to get the two of them back together she made it abundantly clear she wanted nothing to do with Mike. I hate to see him upset and I saw him in tears last night.

Before I got the chance to call him he called me, says he doesn't feel well and he's sick. I'm tempted to leave work but that's a bad idea. He said that I was awesome and thank you for last night and that he loves me. That's how I figure he hasn't slept it off quite enough yet.