"Some beach...somewhere..."

Went out to Gunslingers with Meghan last night, that was an adventure. Not really. We were hanging out, drinking dancing. Made friends with these tattooed crazy guys named Kevin and Bean (Bean knows Dustin, the guy who did my tattoo. Small world.) and we were all just chilling, dancing, having a good time. Then Meghan's booze catches up with her and she gets sick and she's drunk off her ass and I have to take her home...at 11:30p...2 hours after we got there. I was irritated as all hell...this really cool band was playing and the DJ said they sing a cover of one of my favorite fucking songs but we had to leave at like 11:30p. Then Meghan insisted on driving home, smashed. I told her I'd call the cops but I didn't. She seemed okay when she left but I'm gonna take some time off from her I think...she just got on my last fucking nerve last night.

Last night was also miserable because I opened up to Leeann via text message about the whole Mike thing...she doesn't remember much but I had text her and told her to come out with us and bring the guys and all but Idk.

Me: "There's a really cool band playing you guys should all come down when your done"

Leann: "Not a good idea"

Me: "Why, how drunk is he?"

Leann: "Please tell me you are done trying for Mike."

Leann: "Has nothing to do with that."

Me: "After the other night completely. He's nothing more to me than a friend. That's it. I'm done. He
made himself very clear."

Leann: "I'm glad you came to that decision. Don't worry, there is someone out there for you."

Me: "Well I'm trying to be polite and invite. Ya'll invited me out the other night and you can only play so much d&d I don't give two shits about Mike beyond his safety and his happiness. He could go date Heather or whatever her name is for all I care. Hell, bring her here. I'd love to meet her. I'd buy her a drink."

Me: "Yeah and as bad as I wanted to be with Mike I don't care anymore. I'm me and I'm happy. He could make out with you and I'd buy you a drink"

Leann: "W o h calm down chicka."

Leann: "I'm sorry it happened that way. I tried a big flashing neon warning sign."

Me: "I know. I'm dumb and I didn't listen."

Leann: "I'm sorry."

Me: "It makes me sad because I don't want to give up hope. I genuinely love and care for him, but he
needs someone gorgeous inside and out and I'm not that girl no matter how bad I wanna be."

Leann: "Dear...when you find the right one, it won't matter what your like on the outside."

Me: "I wanted to be his everything though, you know? I fell for him way too quick and I fell hard."

Leann: "If I smack you over the head with a frying pan, will you get it then?"

Me: "I get it. He practically smacked me over the head with a frying pan that night. I get it. I cried myself
to sleep next to him sleeping like a baby. I get it."

Leann: "I wish I had been a little more sober. I remember bits and pieces."

Me: "He took my heart, threw it against a wall, spit on it and set it on fire. You don't want to remember.
Trust me."

Leann: "I remember lying on the floor talking to the cat."

Me: "Yeah be lucky."

I don't know who I'm trying to convince more...her or myself...